Why men date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on from millennium. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating wives.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I am conserned typically though it is only the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You would need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a large humber of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is gone, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.